January 23, 2020

To All The Morally Superior People – A Final Unapologetic Message

As you are now aware, I am in the process of sharing my final thoughts with the world, while I have the platform to do so, one message at a time.

Today’s message contains my final words and thoughts to those who just kind of know they are morally superior to the rest of us.

Dear awesomely morally superior people of the world,

Can I ask you all something?

I’ve always wondered because I’ve never gotten even close to achieving what you have… What’s it like to be so fucking flawless in both thought and action?

What’s it like to always know what the right thing to do is, not just for yourself, but for every other person in existence in every time period?

What’s it like to look at all others who have vices and just know in your heart of hearts that they are lost souls, barely worth your time and effort?

What’s it like to be able to sit around discussing with your other morally superior friends about someone else’s infidelity in their marriage?

What’s it like to know how people should be dressing, or how they should be shopping, or what they should be driving?

What’s it like to always speak truth in all that you do?

What’s it like to know how every other parent should talk to their child, raise their child, and discipline their child?

What’s it like to just know everything that is wrong with each and every one of your neighbors?

What’s it like to be able to call women murderers with such incredible conviction after they choose to end their own pregnancy?

What’s it like to watch the news and shake your head so constantly at the rest of the world?

What’s it like to know who people are supposed to love based solely on the genitals they were born with?

What’s it like to be able to so powerfully say the three words, “I would never” as often as you do?

What’s it like to be able to tell everyone on Earth not only who God is or isn’t, but how other people should or shouldn’t interact with said God?

What’s it like to get into the comments of other people’s posts on social media and always know exactly what to say to spread truth and goodness?

I really am so curious about all this because at this point in my life, I don’t think I’ll ever be as morally superior as you no matter how much effort I put into it.


What’s it like to believe that all people should have the exact same beliefs as one another?

What’s it like to know better than the rest of the population exactly what comes after death, and also what every person on Earth should actively do day in and day out to achieve whatever it is in this life you know they can attain in the next?

What’s it like to be disgusted by people smoking or to know you’re better than people drinking?

What’s it like to be able to talk so freely not just about people’s drug problems, but about what led to their drug problems in the first place?

What’s it like to be so much better than a trip to Las Vegas or New Orleans?

I honestly am so curious what it’s like. It must be absolutely awesome just having all of life nailed down to perfection. It must be such a relief to just know that nobody is even close to better than you. It must be just awesome to somehow see the rest of the world from above.

I really am so curious…

What’s it like to drastically walk out of a room where people are having fun because you’re just too good for such an environment?

What’s it like to have language that is so clean even your great grandmother couldn’t get offended at a single word you say?

What’s it like to always know whether a person in need is actually in need or not?

What’s it like to never, ever stray from the straight and narrow?

What’s it like to climb into bed every single night, just completely satisfied that you are still so fucking morally superior to the other seven billion people in this world?

I can only imagine what a glorious feeling that must be. I’d love to know how you got to this point in your life, because every time I strive for perfection I fall short. I fall really fucking short.

I would imagine it took a lot of hard work and dedication to get to where you are up there, riding on such a magnificent and beautifully-groomed high horse.

I would imagine you had to be born with some innate sense of perfect judgment that I was not, to always understand so perfectly the shoes other people walk in.

I would imagine you had to stand looking in the mirror for hours on end, perfecting that incredible judgmental face. I would imagine you had to spend hours more working on that face you use when you’re genuinely shocked at what you see happening around you. And even more hours still working on your “I didn’t see anything or hear anything” face.

I would imagine you always get perfect sleep every night to always have the energy and the brain power to make it to the end of every single day, unflawed and still the fucking best.

I would imagine you had to beat the devil, or the equivalent thereof, back with a stick for so much of your life until you were finally left alone in your justifiably and well-earned perfect life.

My God, it sounds nice to be where you’re at.

Shit. I just got the judgmental face. I did say, “God,” which I’ve been told I’m not supposed to do unless it’s in a very specific way. Definitely my bad. See? I’ll probably never get to where you are because I can’t even go one blog post without absolutely fucking up.

But… You already knew that about me, didn’t you.

Dan Pearce | Dan Pearce Was Here (formerly Single Dad Laughing)