January 17, 2020

To Those Who Are Anti-Anything – A Final Unapologetic Message

As you are now aware, I am in the process of sharing my final thoughts with the world, one personal message at a time. This message contains my final words and thoughts to those who are anti-anything.

Dear friends who are anti-something, anti-anything,

Can I ask you one thing honestly? What good does it do to be anti-anything at all?

What good does it do to be anti-guns?

What good does it do to be anti-religion?

What good does it do to be anti-gay-rights?

What good does it do to be anti-abortion, anti-war, anti-vaccines, or anti anchovies on pizza?

I want the honest answer, but I want you to dig down deep first and ask yourself three questions…

First, does being anti-anything ever actually change anybody’s minds about anything?

Second, does being anti-anything add goodness to your life or does it take it away?

And third, does being anti-anything bring about actual lasting change in the world?

Take gay rights, for example.

Actually, let’s take the anchovies on the pizza. Does you hating anchovies, and constantly telling other people you hate anchovies, and telling people they should not like anchovies stop anyone who loves anchovies from ordering it when they get a pizza for themselves?

That being said, now let’s take gay rights as an example. This is one that has divided humankind for a very long time, and can we all just agree that we are in an age where the battle by those in the LGBTQ community to be treated just as human as anyone else is finally starting to bear permanent and powerful fruit?

I used the word battle, but let me ask you who it is you think brought about this change?

Do you think it was angry gays shoving literature into the hands of children passing by?

Or do you think maybe it was the brave few who came out and showed love can still exist and life can still go on once they were openly themselves, which inspired even more LGBTQ to do so, which inspired even more to do so?

Do you think it was hostile gays marching on the capital?

Or do you think it was city after city letting gays show their pride and march down its streets for one day each year, celebrating their right to live and love however they want and showing their unapologetic pride to the world?

No matter which side of the belief system you are on, the answer is the same.

Every great social movement is won on the social front, not with screaming, but with whispers.

In fact, if you can name any time in history where the anti-anythings actually won anything permanently and without hope for the other side, I am all ears.

Oh, the anti-somethings will sometimes win for a while (and sometimes a very long while). Their voices are just so damned loud and scary at first, so winning for them in the beginning is often inevitable.

But… When the strongest and most positive voices amongst the oppressed have had enough, and the injustice becomes too great, those voices begin to whisper what history has always made voices like theirs whisper, which is that there is… hope, and that if enough people come together there will be an eventual liberation from the injustice.

My point is, being anti-anything solves absolutely nothing, but being pro-something can eventually solve everything, if that thing you are pro-something for is the right thing that is best for humans as a whole.

To give an example of a relatively recent and measurable movement…

Do you remember how loud and demanding the voices were when the anti-vaccinators started their online diatribes and rampages? So many parents suddenly became scared of giving their children life saving vaccines and many of those parents also became scared of the wrath of all those internet mothers coming down on them for doing so.

Those voices… Holy smokes, were they loud. I know they were loud because they used to flood my inbox and demand that I use my platform to peddle their agenda. None of them ever took too kindly to me telling them I had absolutely no interest in the ferocious product they were selling.

They certainly made waves, and they made enough of them that we now have children showing up in doctors’ offices and schools with diseases that had been eradicated from the first world for decades.

As the anti-somethings won for a while, soon the inevitable whispers started spreading, too. Voices who knew better began speaking out. Those who weren’t afraid to piss off a few internet moms began posting actual truth, research, and data about the movement. And… As you may have guessed… Those voices whispering those much quieter whispers began starting to win the war. They began starting to become so loud as an intelligent and caring collective that the voices of the anti-somethings are being drowned out as we speak.

Look… I’m all for backing causes. In fact, if you don’t back any causes at all, I lose a lot of respect for you.

Just don’t do a 5k and scream all the way about how much you hate cancer. Do a 5k and raise money to help one day find a cure.

Don’t just rant and whine about gun control and all those dirty gun lobbyists. Share information that educates others using data that makes sense to you. Share stories that invoke human emotion with real human moments, instead of just propagating what the news spews all over us every day.

Don’t go around telling everyone religion is bullshit, while making sure the whole world knows how religion has destroyed your life. Be an example and let others see how happy you are without it if that is something you are passionate about.

I promise you that if it is an important enough cause that you are passionate about in any realm of life, your collective and ongoing whispers will go much further than your screams ever will.

Think about it…

When you’re in a relationship, does it work better to scream at your partner for the change you need to happen? Or does it work better to show genuine love and understanding and ask for the same in return?

When you’re on the phone with a customer service person, does it work better to lose your cool and scream at them and make demands, or does it work better to appeal to their human side and show your very own human side to them instead?

When you need a change from your child, does it work better to scream loudly and make them feel small, or does it work better to sit down and talk with them and get a commitment for the change or behavior that you need them to start showing?

On top of being heard more often and by more people, not being anti-anything will just make you happier in life. I’m pretty sure it’s just sound human science that being filled with negativity will never bring you more happiness than being filled with peace will.

It may feel like being anti-something is the right way to go since you will get people’s attention (and quickly) if you’re vocal about it. But do you really want to bring about change that is founded in fear? Do you want people doing something or believing in something just to keep from upsetting the monster that you have become when you start talking about it?

People are smarter than you think. They will know that if you are angry enough or so upset about something that you become anti-that-something, then you are not a person who is at peace. And if you aren’t at peace, why would they want to bring that discord to their own lives?

Instead, bring about change the right way.

Be that whisper for positive change and good causes that the world needs strong voices like yours to be.

That’s how you bring about the change you want, so long as that change is a change that the world needs for the betterment of its citizens.

Just like with the anchovies, you do have to remember that some of the things you are so passionate about, don’t actually matter as much as you think they do. If they do truly matter and if you are right, your whispers and your positivity will begin rolling together with the whispers and positivity of everyone else until that which you want most finally happens.

Dan Pearce | Dan Pearce Was Here (formerly Single Dad Laughing)